Monday, October 27, 2008

Crabby Old Man

Date: Wednesday, September 24, 2008, 2:57 PM


CRABBY OLD MAN
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Tampa, Florida, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found a poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Missouri. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem. And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses? ............ .... What do you see?
What are you thinking ......... when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man, ............ not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food ............ and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice ........... 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice ............ the things that you do.
And forever is losing ............ ........ a sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not ........... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding ........... the long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? ..... Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am ........... as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .......... as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten ....... with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters ............ .. who love one another.
A young boy of Sixteen .......... with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now ............ ... a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty ............ my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows ........... that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now ............ .. I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide ........... and a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty ............ .... my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other .......... with ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons ......... have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me .......... to see! I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, . babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me ............ ... my wife is now dead.
I look at the future ............ ... I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing ......... young of their own.
And I think of the years .. and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man ............ ..... and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age ............ ... look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles ........... grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone ........... where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass ... a young guy still dwells,
And now and again ............ .. my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys ............ ..... I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living ............ ... life over again.
I think of the years .... all too few ..... gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact ........ that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people ............ ..... open and see.
Not a crabby old man. Look closer ..... See . ME!!
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within . We will all, one day, be there, too!

PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM
The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Installing A Husband Software

Subject: FW: INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Date: Sun, 19 Oct 2008 05:26:54 +0000




Just for a laugh.

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support
,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.




DEAR DESPERATE
,

First, keep in mind,
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.


If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5
, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do,
DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 ;program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!

Tech Support

Saturday, October 18, 2008

A Very Nice Story

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,

'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother
and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage... and that much
misery is enough!'

'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old
man says.

'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this,
so you
call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!'

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

'Like heck they're getting divorced,' she shouts,
'I'll take care of
this.'

She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, 'You are not
getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm
calling
my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then ,
don't do
a thing, DO YOU HEAR??' and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay', he
says,
'It's all set. They're both coming for Deepavali and paying
their own
airfare!!'


MORAL:

No man / woman is busy in this world all 365 days.

The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet
your dear ones.

OFFICE WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE and MONEY MAKING IS NOT EVERYTHING
IN LIFE.