A Wonderful Story

FW: Give Love a Chance‏

Sent:	Monday, 22 Dec, 2008 10: 33 AM

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said 'I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat.' 'Is the man of the house home?', they asked. 'No', she replied. 'He's out.' 'Then we cannot come in', they replied. In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. 'Go tell them I am home and invite them in!' The woman went out and invited the men in' 'We do not go into a House together,' they replied. 'Why is that?' she asked. One of the old men explained: 'His name is Wealth,' he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, 'He is Success, and I am Love.' Then he added, 'Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home.' The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. 'How nice!!', he said. 'Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!' His wife disagreed. 'My dear, why don't we invite Success?' Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: 'Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!' 'Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice,' said the husband to his wife. 'Go out and invite Love to be our guest.' The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, 'Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest.' Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: 'I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?' The old men replied together: 'If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!' MY WISH FOR YOU... -Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy. -Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it. -Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength. -Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage.

Spanish LOGIC

Subject: FW: Spanish LOGIC!
Date: Tue, 7 Oct 2008 12:59:24 +0000

A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because: 1 No one but their creator understands their internal logic ; 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. (THIS GETS BETTER!) The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on; 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves; 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. The women won. Send this to all the smart women you know...and all the men that have a sense of humor.

Great Household Tips

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Subject: FW: Great household tips

Great tips!!!

How many of these did YOU know about? Or remember??

A sealed envelope - Put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed.
(hmmmmmm...)

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Use Empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords . It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to.

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For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put dawn dish washing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won't refreeze. (wish I had known this for the last 40 years!)

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To remove old wax from a glass candle holder , put it in the freezer for a few hours. Then take the candle holder out and turn it upside down. The wax will fall out.

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Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease that is!).

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Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt BLUE!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel.

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Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S Pads , I immediately take a pair of scissors and cut each pad into halves. After years of having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally decided that this would be much more economical. Now a box of S.O.S pads last me indefinitely! In fact, I have noticed that the scissors get 'sharpened'' this way!

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Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little hydrogen peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works every time! (Now, where to put the body?) LOL

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Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don't wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry t oo quickly and will probably streak.

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Spray a bit of perfume on the light bulb in any room to create a lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned on.

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Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. Y ou can also do this with towels and linen.

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Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning.

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To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag an d add the flowers. Shake vigoro usly as the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! Works like a charm!

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To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet , simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove top.

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Spray your TUPPERWARE with nonstick cooking spray before pouring In tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains.

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Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

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When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn's natural sweetness

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Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it i n half, and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

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Don't throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces ......... Left over wine? What's that?

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To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the area and you will experience instant relief.

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Ants, ants, ants everywhere .. Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line. So, get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march. See for yourself.

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Use air-freshener to clean mirrors. It does a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine.

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When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, and then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.

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Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer........Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric ac id and effervescent action clean vitreous China .

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Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water
and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets.

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Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the
jewelry for two minutes.

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Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).

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Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka Seltzer tablets down the
drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, and then run the hot water.

The Way Children See Things

Subject: The way children see things

(1) NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when
a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from
the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!

(2) MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a
little boy before?"

(3) HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in
the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my
bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a
charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it
fell in the toilet a few days ago.

(4) OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note
from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child
are not necessarily those of his parents,"

(5) Tomato Sauce

A woman was trying hard to get the sauce to come out of
the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter
to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her
mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you
right now. She's hitting the bottle,"

(6) ELDERLY

While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to elderly
hospices, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at
a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,
"The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

(7)DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
suit," "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a
headache the next morning,"

(8) DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small
box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal
of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
prayers and with sonorous dignit y intoned his version of what he
thought his Father always said "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn
... and into the hole he gooooes,"

(9) SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
"I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read,
I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

(10) BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old
leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I
found", the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With
astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's
Adam's underwear!"

Breathing Therapy

Subject: MUST Read - Breathing Therapy
Date: Friday, November 14, 2008, 4:00 AM




Wonder how true it is, but anyway, no harm trying, so !!!!!!!!!!!!???????

Good day.


Breathing Therapy

The nose has a left and a right side,; we use both to inhale and exhale..
Actually they are different, you would be able to feel the difference.

The right side represents the sun, left side represents the moon.


During a headache, try to close your right nose
and use your left nose to breathe.

In about 5 mins, your headache will be gone. If you feel tired, just
reverse, close your left nose and breathe through your right nose.
After a while, you will feel your mind is re-freshed .


Right side belongs to 'hot', so it gets heated up easily, left side
belongs to 'cold'.
Most females breathe with their left noses, so they get "cooled off"
faster.

Most of the guys breathe with their right noses, they get worked up.


Do you notice the moment we wake up, which side breathes faster? Left or
right? If left is faster, you will feel tired.
So, close your left nose and use your right nose for breathing, you will
get refreshed quickly.
This can be taught to kids, but it is more effective when practised by
adults.


My friend used to have bad headaches and was always visiting the doctor.

There was this period when she suffered headache literally every night,
and unable to study. She took painkillers, did not work.
She decided to try out the breathing therapy here: closed her right nose
and breathed through her left nose.
In less than a week, her headaches were gone! She continues the exercise
for one month.

This alternative natural therapy without medication is something that she
has experienced.

So, why not give it a try ?

Gallstones Removal (6-day treatment)

----- Original Message -----

Sent: Tuesday, November 28, 2006 8:39 AM
Subject: Gallstones Removal (6-day treatment)

Please note always consult your doctor first before any alternative treatment or remedy.


Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2006 12:54:36 +0800

Dear All,

this is a useful piece of information that you may have received
before.

This is true and it works. You can 'google' Dr Lai Chiu-Nan to find
out more about her and the feedbacks of this treatment.

ps. as always, spread the good things

Pictures first, explanation and procedure follows:

1. Liver
2. Common Bile Duct
3. Gallstones
4. Gallbladder

REMOVING GALLSTONES NATURALLY
by Dr Lai Chiu-Nan

It has worked for many. If it works for you please pass on the
good news. Chiu Nan is not charging for it, so we should make it free for
everyone. Your reward is when someone, through your word of mouth,
benefits from the regime. Gallstones may not be everyone's concern. But they
should be because we all have them. Moreover, gallstones may lead to cancer.
"Cancer is never the first illness,"

Chiu Nan points out. "Usually, there are a lot of other problems leading to cancer. In my research in China, I came across some materials which say that people with cancer usually have stones. We all have gallstones. It's a matter of big or small, many or few. One of the symptoms of gallstones is bloated feeling after a heavy meal. You feel like you can't digest the food. If it gets more serious, you feel pain in the liver area."

So if you think you have
gallstones, Chiu Nan offers the following method to remove them
naturally. The treatment is also good for those with a weak liver, because
the liver and gallbladder are closely linked.

Regimen:
1. For the first five days, take four glasses of apple juice (green apples preferred)
every
day. Or eat four or five apples, whichever you prefer. Apple juice
softens
the gallstones. During the five days, eat normally.
2. On the sixth day, take no dinner.
3. At 6 PM, take a teaspoon of Epsom salt (magnesium sulphate)
with a glass of warm water. (Drink slowly because of swallowing difficulties)
4. At 8 PM, repeat the same. Magnesium sulphate opens the
gallbladder ducts.
5. At 10 PM, take half cup olive oil (or sesame oil) with half
cup fresh lemon juice. Mix it well and drink it. The oil lubricates the
stonesto ease their passage.

PS. 1cup=250ml, ½ cup lemon juice=3 lemons (aprox.)

The next morning, (bowel movement) you will find green stones in your stools.
Usually they float," Chiu Nan notes. "You might want to count them. I
have had people who passes 40, 50 or up to 100 stones. Very many."
"Even if you don't have any symptoms of gallstones, you still
might have some. It's always good to give your gall bladder a clean-up now
and then.

PASS THIS AND YOU MAY HELP OTHERS!

Enjoy Your Life While You Can

Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2008 19:57:29 -0800
From:
Subject: FW: Enjoy your life while you can

HOW TRUE IT IS Another year has passed And we're all a little older. Last summer felt hotter, And winter seems much colder. I rack my brain for happy thoughts To put down on my pad. But lots of things that come to mind Just make me kind of sad. There was a time not long ago When life was quite a blast. Now I fully understand About 'Living in the Past'. We used to go to friends' homes, Football games and lunches.. Now we go to therapy, to hospitals, And after-funeral brunches. We used to have hangovers, From parties that were gay. Now we suffer body aches And sleep the night away. We used to go out dining, And couldn't get our fill. Now we ask for doggie bags, Come home and take a pill. We used to often travel To places near and far. Now we get backaches From riding in the car. We used to go out shopping For new clothing at the Mall. But, now we never bother... All the sizes are too small. That, my friend is how life is. And now my tale is told. So, enjoy each day and live it up... Before you're too darn old!! So enjoy it while you can... Live, Laugh and Love!

Q & A (IQ Testing)

~ * o* sTephANie ^_* ~

TEACHER : Why are you late?
BALGOBIN : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
BALGOBIN : The one that says, 'School Ahead, Go Slow.'
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TEACHER : Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?
BALGOBIN : You told me to do it without using tables!
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TEACHER : Balgobin, how do you spell 'crocodile'?
BALGOBIN :
'K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L'
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
BALGOBIN : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
BALGOBIN : 'HIJKLMNO! '!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
BALGOBIN : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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TEACHER : Balgobin, go to the map and find North America.
BALGOBIN : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Balgobin!
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TEACHER : Balgobin, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
BALGOBIN : Me!
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TEACHER : Balgobin, why do you always get so dirty?
BALGOBIN : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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BALGOBIN : Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER : I think so. What do you want me to write?
BALGOBIN : Your name on this report card.
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TEACHER : How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
BALGOBIN : Don't bite any.
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TEACHER : Balgobin, give me a sentence starting with 'I'.
BALGOBIN : I is...
TEACHER : No, Balgobin. Always say, 'I am.'
BALGOBIN : All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER : 'Can anybody give an example of 'COINCIDENCE?'
BALGOBIN :
'Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.'
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TEACHER : 'George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish
him?'
BALGOBIN : 'Because George still had the axe in his hand?'
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BALGOBIN : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
BALGOBIN : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
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TEACHER : Wh! at a pair of strange socks you arewearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
BALGOBIN : Yes it's really
strange. I've got another pair just like that
at home.
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TEACHER : Now, children, if I saw a man beating adonkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
BALGOBIN : Brotherly love?
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TEACHER : Now, Balgobin, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
BALGOBIN : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER : Balgobin, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Di! d you copy his?
BALGOBIN : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
BALGOBIN : A teacher

Crabby Old Man

Date: Wednesday, September 24, 2008, 2:57 PM

CRABBY OLD MAN

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Tampa, Florida, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found a poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Missouri. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem. And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

Crabby Old Man

What do you see nurses? ............ .... What do you see?
What are you thinking ......... when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man, ............ not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food ............ and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice ........... 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice ............ the things that you do.
And forever is losing ............ ........ a sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not ........... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding ........... the long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? ..... Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am ........... as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .......... as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten ....... with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters ............ .. who love one another.
A young boy of Sixteen .......... with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now ............ ... a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty ............ my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows ........... that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now ............ .. I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide ........... and a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty ............ .... my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other .......... with ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons ......... have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me .......... to see! I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, . babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me ............ ... my wife is now dead.
I look at the future ............ ... I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing ......... young of their own.
And I think of the years .. and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man ............ ..... and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age ............ ... look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles ........... grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone ........... where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass ... a young guy still dwells,
And now and again ............ .. my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys ............ ..... I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living ............ ... life over again.
I think of the years .... all too few ..... gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact ........ that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people ............ ..... open and see.
Not a crabby old man. Look closer ..... See . ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within . We will all, one day, be there, too!

PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM
The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart.

Installing A Husband Software

Subject: FW: INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Date: Sun, 19 Oct 2008 05:26:54 +0000

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Just for a laugh.

INSTALLING A HUSBAND Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate. DEAR DESPERATE, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 ;program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7. Good Luck Babe! Tech Support

A Very Nice Story

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,

'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother
and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage... and that much
misery is enough!'

'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old
man says.

'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this,
so you
call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!'

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

'Like heck they're getting divorced,' she shouts,
'I'll take care of
this.'

She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, 'You are not
getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm
calling
my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then ,
don't do
a thing, DO YOU HEAR??' and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay', he
says,
'It's all set. They're both coming for Deepavali and paying
their own
airfare!!'


MORAL:

No man / woman is busy in this world all 365 days.

The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet
your dear ones.

OFFICE WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE and MONEY MAKING IS NOT EVERYTHING
IN LIFE.

Wife 1.0 Software

Received 11th July 2008

Subject: Wife 1.0 Software

THIS IS REALLY FUNNY! Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Golfing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help! Thanks, Troubled User..... ____________ _________ _________ _______ REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 .. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/ Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application 'Yes Dear' to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 . However, be very careful how you use these programs . Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 .. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 ! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system! Best of luck, Tech Support